Being Social with Less Anxiety

In Canada, summer is upon us and with Canada Day on July 1st and Independence Day for my American friends on July 4th, this marks the start of potluck and picnic season and more opportunities to go out and eat with family and friends. So how do you manage to enjoy a potluck or group gathering that involves food when you have specific dietary needs? And how do you cope with being amongst large groups of people and all the associated brain fatigue you might experience? Well those are two things we’ll talk about in this blog.

When I first made changes to the way I eat by cutting out gluten, dairy and sugar, I used to get really anxious about eating anywhere outside of my home. The anxiety I had around food, coupled with the worry I had about how my brain would cope with the increased stimulation from being in a group of people, made me decline a number of invitations early on in my recovery. But humans are social beings and I needed to find ways to still enjoy getting together with people around food.

Plan Ahead to Reduce Anxiety

Thanks to the internet, it is easy to look up menus before going to restaurant for a meal. You can reduce some anxiety by knowing that you have a few options for a meal that meets your dietary requirements before you get there. It’s easy to make a phone call to a restaurant in advance and ask what gluten free and dairy free options they have available or what adjustments they can make, rather than worry about it until you get there. In the beginning of my brain injury recovery, I found it helpful to look at the menu ahead of time, reading at my own (slower) speed, with no distractions, and making one or two selections that would work for me. That way, once at the restaurant, I could focus on conversations with friends and not worry about struggling to read a big menu. When weather permits, I find that eating outside on a patio is a quieter and less brain draining experience compared to a noisy, busy indoor environment. Sticking to smaller groups and having an ally like a friend or partner who can help you graciously leave when you’re reaching your limits is also helpful. Having a plan is key to reducing stress.

Managing Potlucks

What about potlucks where you don’t have the same control over what food is available? In this case, I always make and take a good amount of something that I know I can eat and supplement that with other available dishes like salads or fruit if available. I am not afraid to ask about ingredients in a dish so that I don’t unknowingly consume some hidden dairy, gluten or a high sugar content. I politely decline when it doesn’t suit my needs, but still enjoy what I brought and usually there are a few other dishes to try too. Being awkward about my dietary needs can make everyone uncomfortable - it’s much easier to be honest upfront.

Listen to Your Body

Still feeling anxious about being social this summer? Taking a nap before a social event and even eating a little beforehand, are good ways to prepare. Pace yourself and don’t feel bad if you limit the amount of time you are out socializing. People will be happy to see you, even if for shorter periods of time initially. Using some of the tips above should help you find the right balance and reduce some anxiety.

In my next blog I’ll be sharing my new favorite gluten and dairy free orange cake…..